


Never Again

by PikaDrayer



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dom Erik, Drug Use, M/M, Poor Charles, Sub Charles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:53:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7629343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PikaDrayer/pseuds/PikaDrayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being beaten again and again years ago by his step-father Kurt Marco, the Sub Charles Xavier decided to never trust another Dom again. But after some time with the apparition in his live to Raven he begin to believe again in the others, at the point to offer his heart years later to Erik Lehnsherr. </p><p>But after Cuba and the beginning of the Vietnam War, Charles lost everything and plunged into alcohol and drugs. Finally, scared for his friend, Hank decided against his better judgement to contact Mystique and Magneto to help the Professor to get better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I always find horrible the way Raven and Erik leave Charles in Cuba so i wanted a very very guilty Mystique and Magneto with a sad, very sad Charles. 
> 
> Sorry for all the faults because in fact i am actually French and try (sorry!) to write in English ^^

Charles was in the dark room again. And Kurt was with him, of course. He was never alone there, never in peace. _‘Peace…’_ The word had a weird taste in his mind, as if it was completely meaningless. And of course it was, Charles never really knew what peace was. In fact, he doubted it even existed for him.

Another blow came across his cheek, but he didn’t felt it. He didn’t felt anything since the last couple of minutes in fact. His entire body seemed to be in pain and the darkness threatened to overwhelm him as conscience escaped his mind. It wasn’t the first time Charles founded himself in this situation. After all he was a Sub and Kurt was a violent and aggressive Dom who loved reminding his step-son how much weak and insignificant he was. His wrath wasn’t directed specifically to him, the man seemed to hate all the Subs, but the fact that Charles was more accessible than the others made him a good target.

Of course he knew this was a dream, Kurt died years ago and he wasn’t anymore the scared little boy he used to be. But it didn’t matter anymore, because after all, his step-father was right. He was really and truly a weak and insignificant Submissive, and it was the reason why he had lost everything. The reason why he had lost Raven, Eric, his legs and his school.  
Because he was idiot enough to trust and to open himself to others Doms when he had swear he would never did it again. Because he let himself be vulnerable to offer his love to Raven, as a brother, and to Eric as a lover.

Charles should had known better. He knew he could suffer, but not at the point to be abandoned dying in a beach, bleeding to death and with the use of his legs gone. And worst of all because he wanted to believe in humanity his students and teachers were gone to fight a war no-one believed in. The only one thigs left to him was Hank and his serum. It wasn’t enough to make him happy but it was the closest he had.

The final blow came as a deliverance. The blackness recovered his mind as the conscience leave his body and for few seconds Charles was free. Free from the sufferance , free from the fear, and free from the love. 


	2. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank goes in the town and meets someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to be clear : Erik and Raven are Doms and Charles and Hank are Subs
> 
> Good chapter !

“Professor…”

“Don’t call me like that !”

“Charles, please, you already took a dose this morning. This isn’t safe.”

The Doctor Hank McCoy was almost pleading now. He couldn’t let his friend destroy his life and not react. But he didn’t know what else to do and the other was very insistent. However he tried again.

“Maybe you can wait for tomorrow morning ? I will go buy a bottle of whatever you want for this afternoon.”

It wasn’t the best thing to do but Hank knew it was the less dangerous. The only way to distract the professor –no, not the professor anymore, Charles– from the serum was with the alcohol. The other man snorted as he understood the intentions of the scientist, but finally nodded. 

“But if the voices come back, I will take the serum no matter what you think.”

“Yes, I know”

And it was true. Hank knew that he couldn’t stop his friend if his telepathy came back. Charles didn’t want to hear the voices anymore, and most important he didn’t want to lose his legs again. 

“Ok then you can go. I would like a bottle of gin, or whisky. Yes, a good whisky could be great. I’ll go in my room now, see you later.”

And with that the telepath turned around and disappeared in one of the long corridors of the mansion. The scientist sighed and finally prepared himself to reach the town before his friend could change his mind. Hank didn’t know what to do anymore, interacted with his friend had become more and more difficult during the past few months.  
After Cuba, the only one thing which had kept Charles from falling apart was the school and the children. Of course he had hard time, but the responsibility of headmaster didn’t give him the possibility to think too much about Raven, Erik and his legs. In these times he was the ‘Professor X’, a symbol for his students, and couldn’t afford self-pity.  
But now, he had nothing left to care about. He was stuck, alone with his thoughts, his loss and his sadness. And it was why Hank continued against his better judgement to give him the serum and to let him drank so much alcohol. Because it was maybe the only things that kept him from suicide. 

And it was with this thought that the scientist reach for the shop in the middle of the town. When he found something that could suit his friend’s demand, Hank headed quickly towards the nearest cashier and payed.  
It was when Hank founded himself in the street again to go back to the mansion that he smelled it. A particular smell he was sur he already knew before. Looking around he caught the sight of a well-known young blonde woman in front of him.

“Raven …”

It was just a whisperer but he was sur she heard it. With a movement of her head she indicated a small coffee shop near a small but lovely place. Hank followed her and took a seat across her, as the waitress came to take their command. After that Raven was the first to break the silence between them.

“How is he ?” 

Hank wanted so much to tell her that it was none of her business, that his brother she abandoned was fine and that they didn’t need her help. But the true seemed to get out against his will.

“It’s bad, really bad.”

“How that ? What do you mean ?”

Raven now seemed to panic and the scientist still didn’t know if he was able to trust her. But his friend needed help a, maybe she could be able to help after all.

“The school closed few months ago, because of the war. It was the only one thing that helped him after he lost you, Erik and his legs…”

“What do you mean his legs ? Hank, what do you mean by ‘he lost his legs’ ?”

“Wow, so you didn’t know… It’s not surprising given that you never tried to get some news of us before. What I mean is that the bullet deflected by your boyfriend found its way in his spine. YOU LEFT HIM IN THAT BEACH PARALYSED AND BLEEDING TO DEATH ! THAT’S WHAT I MEAN !”

At the end he was shouting, and the others customers stared at him but he didn’t care. Now that he had the occasion to tell everything he had in his heart he wasn’t going to be difficult.

“I … I didn’t … I really didn’t know. I mean …”

Raven was now crying, but it didn’t do anything to calm the scientist. Because this was the woman who was the sister of his best friend, the woman he used to love, and the woman who abandoned both of them. 

“OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T KNOW ! YOU LEFT HIM ! THIS MAN THAT WELCOMED YOU IN HIS HOME, FED YOU, RAISED YOU AND CONSIDERED YOU AS HIS SISTER !”

“You don’t understand ! He didn’t want to let me grow up ! He always ask me to hide ! And I don’t want to hide ! Not anymore !”

Hank forced himself to breath in and out, trying desperately to control his temper. No, Raven couldn’t help. She absolutely didn’t understand, so she was absolutely useless. He got up from his chair.

“He just cared about you, he was just worry you could get hurt. He could have die for you, you know.”

With that he turned around and began to walk away, but stop after few steps.

“Congratulation, you an Erik succeed to brake one of the strongest men I knew.”

And he continued to walk away to come back to the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter but I prefere this way for the moment. 
> 
> Please if you see faults tell me to help me to correct myself :)


	3. Brotherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven explained the situation to Erik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Erik may be a kind of asshole ^^

Raven was shocked. Her mind was overwhelmed with guilt and despair. Her brother… One of the people the most important in her life –no, the person _the most_ important in her life, she just never had the courage to tell him– was destroyed because of her. She was now back at the QG of the Brotherhood, she had walked without thinking, lost in her shame. She needed to talk to magneto.

* * *

 

Erik was in his office, focused on the papers in front of him. It was lists of young mutants, some of them targeted by humans and the other abandoned or in the streets. Their number had exploded on the last few months and it was really strange. Why Charles hadn’t found them yet ? They was perfect candidates for his school. Maybe he was too busy, running a school was probably exhausting. When he heard the knock from his door he barely had the time to say ‘come in’ that a blue tornado entered. He waited for Mystique to close the door before he talked.

“Is there a problem ?”

“Yes…”

It was only there that Magneto finally saw the tears in her eyes. His first-lieutenant never cried before, or not in front of others. It was probably serious, and Erik knew only one subject that could put her in this state of weakness. _Charles…_

“What’s happened ?”

“I… I saw Hank this afternoon. And he… I asked him how was Charles and… And he told me he is… Oh my god, he is _paralysed_ Erik !”

The time seemed to stop during few seconds because, this couldn’t be. Yes the bullet was in his back but, it wasn’t _this close_ to the spine, right ? After all, despite their divergent opinions about the future of the mutants, they were friends, and Erik would _never_ let his fiend paralysed in a beach. No, he would never do that, after all he just let him bleeding to death in that beach…

“And how does he take it ? I mean… mentally ?”

“I don’t know. Hank said that with the school it wasn’t too bad, but with the Vietnam War…”

“He lost the school…”

“Yes. And Hank made me understand that Charles hadn’t be able to take this last blow. And you know, Hank said too… He told me we succeed to break him. I _destroyed_ my own brother…”

And then it was over, she lost her masque and cried without any reserves. In fact she didn’t seem able to stop any time soon.

“No ! We took this decision together, ok ? And Charles made his own choice too.”

It was sad but true. They weren’t on the same side anymore, and the consequences were awful but they couldn’t change it. Now he was the chief of the Brotherhood, he couldn’t afford to feel guilt for his former friend. But Mystique obviously disagreed with that statement.

“He certainly did not choose to become paralysed, nor he choose to lost his school ! And for the decision we both made, I feel enough shame for that, thank you.”

“Listen, we cannot do anything to fix this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really sorry for him, but what is done is done. We have to move on now.”

“And so ? You’re gonna just leave him in this state without lifting a finger ?”

“Mystique…”

“No ! You know what ? It’s fine, stay here with those people who only followe you because they are afraid, of you or of the world. I don’t care, I will join the only person who really loved me and who need my help now !”

And with this last sentence she just walked away, leaving Magneto’s office and the QG of the Brotherhood. Because whatever time it would take, she was decided to fix his brother.


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven come back to the mansion and finally see his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few words about the universe because I don't think I have been very clear^^
> 
> In this world there is Doms and Subs, usually a Dom marries a Sub but it's not an absolute rule. And in the everyday life Doms just used to be more at ease with giving orders or taking important decisions, but nothing else. 
> 
> It's in the couple life that change occurs but I will talk about this later ;)

Charles was in his room, lying awake in his bed, and enjoyed the wonderful euphoria brought by the alcohol. It was like if his head was in a soft cloud of cotton. He wasn’t any more vulnerable, in pain or scared, because he couldn’t think enough of reasons to be. Pity the bottle was now empty, maybe he should have ask Hank to take two. No, his friend would have probably said no, so…

His friend… Yes Hank was his friend. The young man was the only one who accepted to stay, even after Charles desperately tried to push him away. He was young and brilliant, he shouldn’t waste his talent with someone like him. But he was also really stubborn and had decided to take care of his mentor so…

Suddenly Charles seemed to hear voices, in fact, two voices. The first one was Hank’s, he was sur of that, but second one seemed so familiar two… A voice he was sur he would never heard again.

_Raven…_

* * *

 

Mystique was nervous. The last she had seen Hank, he wasn’t really pleased to see her. Maybe if she began with excuses it would be better ? But before she could decide what to say exactly, the door was open and the scientist was behind her, visibly surprised to see her.

_Okay, let’s go then…_

* * *

 

Hank didn’t know how to react. Raven was the last person –okay maybe not the last, but the idea was the same– he expected here in this instant.

“What are you doing here ?”

“I… I would like to see my brother.”

She seemed hesitant and really unsure, and the scientist couldn’t help but feel a little sad for her. All she wanted was to see her brother and who was he to forbid that ? But before she could see him Hank knew he should explain some things.

“Raven, you must understand, your brother, he… he can walk now, but only because he sacrificed his… his telepathy.”

“What… what do you mean ‘He sacrificed his telepathy’ ?”

How could he possibly explain that he pushed her brother to be dependent of a drug he created ? But if she really came back for forgiveness she had to try to understand the situation they were in. After all they were two Subs lost together without any Doms to guide them.

“He lost everything, Erik, you, his legs. We built the school, the labs, this whole place, then just after the first semester… the war in Vietnam got worse. Many of the teachers and older students were drafted. It broke him. He retreated into himself. I wanted to help, do something so I designed a serum to treat his spine derived from the same formula that helps me control my mutation. I take just enough to keep myself balanced but… he takes too much.

I tried easing him back but… he just couldn’t bear the pain, the voices. The treatment gives him his legs but… it’s not enough. He’s the lost too much.”

Raven had wanted to interrupt Hank many times in his speech. She was angry after him for creating something that transformed his brother in mere human, for letting him destroyed himself so much, for… for being here for him when it should have been her. But at the end all she was able to do was crying… again, and being overwhelmed by the guilt… again. But this time she would not fly away, this time she would stay, help, and obtain forgiveness from his brother. She was ready to everything to…

“Raven ?”

In fact no, not everything. Nothing could have prepared her to the view of her brother, probably drunk, with long and oily hair, a beard a few days, in a dirty sleeveless top and pyjamas pants, wearing a bathrobe too big for him. But the worst part was the surprise, the uncertainty in his voice. As if he couldn’t believe his sister came back for him. It was at this moment she fully understood what they had done to him.

“Yes Charles, I’m here.”

Quickly the disbelief became something else, something she wasn’t used to see in his brother’s eyes… Anger.

“And why are here ? What do you want ?”

_What else can you take away from me ?_  were the unspoken words. Raven was a Dom, he couldn’t trust her anymore. Charles refused to do twice the same mistake.

“I… I just want to… to be here for you…”

“Too late. You can stay if you want to, as I always told you this is your house too but, understand me, you will have no control anymore in my life.”

And feeling that he needed to sleep, Charles just walked away in direction of the stairs to find his so lovely bed. He wouldn’t let anyone controlled his life again, Dom or Sub. Never again.


	5. Infiltration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystique decided to explain her point of view to Magneto who took a descision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but it was back to College for me in second year and in addition the 'w' in my keyboard deided to die (RIP, i loved you^^)

It was late in the night when the telephone in his desk began to ring. Magneto sighed, he was looking at the last map of the facility he was supposed to take down the next week and was tired. But only Azazel, Emma and Mystic knew about this phone so it must be really important.

“Magneto…”

“Yeah ! I know it’s you asshole ! And you know what ? No matter what you think or what you are doing you gonna join me in Westchester just right Now !!!!!!”

So it was Raven… and that also means this was about Charles. If she was calling him that probably means it was far worse than they imagined. But it doesn’t change that he failed to see what he could possibly do about that… He wasn’t a healer after all.

“Mystique, you know…”

“Maybe you didn’t understand the first time so I will repeat slowly : You. Bring. Your. Sorry. Ass. At. The. Mansion in the second !!!!!!!!!”

“But…”

“I know. I know you gonna say we can’t change the past, and it’s true. But right now this is not about changing the past, it’s about saving the future. It’s not about what we can do but what we must do. So please… please, help me save him… I’ve never seen him like this…”

She was begging now, and it send a wave of guilt in her leader’s chest. But he immediately pushed that though away. He was the leader of the Brotherhood for god’s sake ! He didn’t need to help one of his greatest opponent. What could think his followers after that ? But…. It could be a spy’s mission. After all he could just go and pretending be here to help just to collect information, no ?

“Okay, I will come as soon as I can. But place too much hopes in this, I don't think he's gonna be happy to see me."

"Just come here, okay ? We will deal with that after."

And with that she hung up and Magneto began to wonder in which mess he just put himself. It was probably one of his worst idea in a long time, but the possibility to see his friend again, even just once, was too tempting. Because even if he would never admitted that to anyone –even under torture, it was a question of dignity– Erik was quite attached to the young Sub.

In the camps, Schmidt always told him how the Subs were weak and insignificant, a burden for strong Doms like them. And even after being released, the idea had stayed in his head because most of the Subs he met was too attached of the Dom's judgment. He didn't really think about them in the way Schmidt did, but for him they were just uninteresting and yes, sometimes a burden.

But it was before Charles. Yong, strong and independent Charles. One of the most powerful mutant Erik met, an indomitable fire. And maybe it was because he seemed to be the type of man who would never bend for anyone that Erik wanted to be the one able to control him.

And he almost succeed before Cuba, but at the end, instead of completely owned him he just managed to destroy him. But during few seconds Magneto permitted himself to think that if the telepath was willing to listen to him, maybe things could became better, no ? After all, Magneto was still the Dominant, so there was no way his sweet telepath would decide to throw him away, right ?

**Author's Note:**

> Really short Chapter, sorry !
> 
> The next ones are gonna be longer i promess !


End file.
